Recipe  of  True Love

                                                                                                                                                                                               By Samuel Vain

1: HONESTY/TRANSPARENCY

      No relationship will make it if someone is nearly never honest. This is why my marriage is failing right now. You cannot connect with a fake person, there’s nothing to which to connect. Sheila and I became so strong because we were both honest about who we are, we knew each was a good person that made mistakes. Learning the things that made us grow when at our worst shows how we learned to be better. Sheila and I knew we could tell our worst and the other will still love us so there were no secrets. We had no fear of being honest or getting undeserved backlash.

2: SACRIFICE

       What are you willing to do for your union? To sacrifice oneself for true love brings great rewards. When you see someone sacrificing for you that you will give anything for makes you deeply appreciate that person. The love grows stronger. I sacrificed my nursing career to take Sheila home and care for her there using all of my medical training to benefit her. For Barbara I sacrificed everything I have and am to support us both on my disability income when her income could not support her. Sheila sacrificed herself to our union. It was everything she had and everything I wanted. Barbara sacrificed nothing for us unless it got her some reaction she sought. That selfishness she continuously showed made me feel like I wasn’t even a part of the relationship. Sacrifices are selfless, it’s done for the greater good to help the union grow stronger.

3: SYMBIOSIS

       One Feeds the other while both work together to make the union stronger. When you’re truly in love it feels like you are one person. Sheila and I talking realized one day that we acted as Two Hearts Intertwined into One Love and One Mind Eternal, it became our personal credo. I make her happy, her being happy brings me joy, I feel happy too. Feeding the soul of your beloved feeds yours too, and your union becomes stronger.  Fun was more fun with us together. When apart we wanted it to end quickly. We just didn’t feel complete without the other half with us. To hurt them would rip your heart and soul apart, to live without them is no life, they are your air and water. You can’t help being thoughtful and attentive to each other with small gifts like a certain candy or a pretty 2$ flower just to say ‘I Love You’ in some sweet way. Those little moments come along more frequently than big ones. You made your sweetie happy and now you feel happier too. Perfect synergy.

4: NURTURING

    It’s important to support each other’s interests, even explore them. Sometimes you may wonder “what went through your mind to come up with that?” but if it doesn’t cause harm, go with it! You can nurture by telling them if you think it’s a bad idea too. Explain why you think it and see what comes. They might have thought about that and planned in case or might think you got a great point and change their mind in some positive way. Then you both are nurtured and again, become stronger.

5: SECURITY

       If you don’t give it or get it how can you have faith in the one not contributing? We all want to know that this person will be there until one of us dies. To know the love will continue. Opportunities come all of the time to prove what you say is true, but if someone keeps proving at every chance what they said before was a lie then how can they offer security? Just can’t! When the love is true you both keep proving your honesty. That breeds security. When you’re both knowing you are totally accepted by the other and want no one else in the world for life, that IS Security! Short of it is: Keep your promises and be dependable.

6: RESPONSIBILITY/ACCOUNTABILITY

        So important! If you never take responsibility for your own actions you have no accountability. No conflict can ever be truly solved when someone won’t be accountable and tries to transfer responsibility to the one who is owning up to their part. True love won’t do this because they want resolution for all and to learn from the conflict. You MUST own up to your part and make it right. This builds trust BIG TIME!

7: APPRECIATION/ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

       It’s so important to appreciate what that special someone does to show they care. Acknowledgement of those moments makes one feel appreciated. Like if your honey notices a coin has your birth year on it and gives it to you saying ‘Happy birthday’, opens a door, holds your hand, makes an omelet, whatever! Appreciate that little moment, those are a true treasure. No trinket or jewel is as precious. Once one of you die those will get you through when you miss them. Thinking about all those wonderful moments remind us why we hurt so much, because that love is so great and what you come to appreciate most in your heart.

I hope you enjoy my 7 helpful tips and take everything to heart, unless you have it already! May your true love be as mine and Sheila’s. She died 13 years ago and I love her as much as if she were here with me physically.